Best Sales Man of the Year

An Indian moves to Montreal and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, ‘Do you have any sales experience?’

The Indian says, ‘Yeah, I was a salesman back home’.

Well, the manager liked the young man, so he gave him the job. ‘You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did, but let me give you a bit of advice. If a customer comes looking, say, for toothpaste, you might suggest for him a toothbrush, or shaving cream etc. You get the idea?’

‘Of course,’ the young man said. His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down. ‘How many sales did you make today?

The Indian says, ‘One’

The manager groans, ‘Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales/day.

How much was the sale for?’

The Indian says, ‘$101, 237.64.’

The manager exclaims, ‘What? $101,237.64? What did you sell him?’

The Indian replied, ‘First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Pajero.’

The manager says ‘You mean a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?!’

The Indian says, ‘No, no, no, he came in here to buy a box of Kotex for his wife and I said, ‘Well, since your weekend’s already screwed up you might as well go fishing!!’

The manager fainted…

 

Forwarded by: Joy
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Old Couple

An old couple was lying in bed one night.

The husband was falling a sleep, but the

wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, “You use to hold my hand when

we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand

for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.

 

A few moments later she said,

“Then you used to kiss me.”

 

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a

peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said.

“Then you use to bite my neck.

 

“Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and

got out of bed.

“Where are you going ?” she asked.

” TO GET MY TEETH ” 

Forwarded by: Joy

Holiday in Australia- Check this out!

                                                                            
READ THIS FIRST BEFORE LOOKING AT PICTURE.                                 
                                                                           
Family on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife    
and their 15 year old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in    
the navy and has had some scuba experience.  His son wanted a picture of   
his mum and dad in all their gear so he got the under water camera ready   
to go. When it came to taking the picture the dad realized that the son    
looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the ‘OK’ hand sign to  
see if he was all right.                                                   
                                                                           
The son took the picture and swam to the surface and back to the boat as   
quick as he c ou ld so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK.  When
they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat and absolutely        
panicking.  When the parents asked why he said ‘there was a shark behind   
you.’  The dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it   
was true but they wouldn’t believe him.  As soon as they got back to the   
hotel they loaded the picture onto the laptop and this is what they saw.   
                                                                           

                                                         
                                                 
(Try and tell me you wouldn’t have emptied your                            
entire digestive system right at the point you saw it)                     
                                                                           
Would you have stayed to take the picture??                                
                                                                           
Maybe what saved them was that the shark wasn’t hungry, they were in the   
water not on the surface, and there was no fear coming from them – only    
because they were not aware. Probably better that the kid didn’t point for
them to look behind them.    
                                 
Forwarded by: Jamie M.