‘Bout Wives

 When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”

Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Milton
Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”


Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

SEND THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH……AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!!!


__,_._,___

Forwarded thru: Tup-vians yahoogroups

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Read It Or TRASH It…read til the end

CANCEROUS FOODS / PRODUCTS

INSTANT NOODLES


Dear instant noodle lovers,
Make sure you break for at least 3 days after one session of instant noodles before you eat your next packet! Please read the info shared to me by a doctor. My family stopped eating instant noodles more than 5 years ago after hearing about the wax coating the noodles – the wax is not just in the Styrofoam containers but it coats the noodles.. This is why the instant noodles do not stick to each other when cooking.

 

If one were to examine the ordinary Chinese yellow noodles in the market, one will notice that, in their uncooked state the noodles are oily. This layer of oil prevents the noodles from sticking together.

 

Wanton noodles in their uncooked state have been dusted with flour to prevent them sticking together. When the hawker cooks the noodles, notice he cooks them in hot water and then rinses them in cold water before cooking them in hot water again.. This process is repeated several times before the noodles are ready to be served. The cooking and rinsing process prevents noodles from sticking together.

 

The hawker then “lowers the noodles in oil and sauce to prevent the noodles from sticking if they are to be served dry. Cooking instructions for spaghetti require oil or butter to be added in the water when boiling the spaghetti to prevent the pasta from sticking together. Otherwise, one gets a big clump of spaghetti!

 

There was an SBC (now TCS) actor some years ago, who at a busy time of his career had no time to cook, resorted to eating instant noodles everyday. He got cancer later on. His doctor told him about the wax in instant noodles. The doctor told him that our body will need up to 2 days to clear the wax. There was also an SIA steward who after moving out from his mother’s house into his own house, did not cook but ate instant noodles almost every meal. He had cancer, and has since died from it.


Nowadays the instant noodles are referred as ”
cancer noodles “.

 

 
 

 

SATAY LOVERS (BARBECUE)

If you all eat Satay, don’t ever forget to eat the cucumber, because eating Satay together with carbon after barbequing can cause cancer.
But we have a cure for that… Cucumber should be eaten after we eat the Satay because Satay has carcinogen (a cancer causing element) but cucumber is anti-carcinogenic. So don’t forget to eat the cucumber the next time you have Satay’s.

 
 

PRAWNS (SUGPO) & VIT C


DO NOT
eat shrimp / prawn if you have just taken VITAMIN C pills!!
This will cause you to DIE in ARSENIC (As) toxication within HOURS!!

 
 

PORK AWARENESS

Try this and see whether the pork you bought has worms. There goes with your “Bak Kut Teh” for those who love it. Most men love to eat this so watch out before it’s too late. If you pours Coke (yes, the soda) on a slab of pork, wait a little while, you will SEE WORMS crawl out of it. A message from the Health Corporation of Singapore about the bad effects of pork consumption. Pig’s bodies contain MANY TOXINS, WORM and LATENT DISEASES.

 
 

 


 

Although some of these infestations are harboured in other animals, modern veterinarians say that pigs are far MORE PREDISPOSED to these illnesses than other animals. This could be because PIGS like to SCAVENGE and will eat ANY kind of food, INCLUDING dead insects, worms, rotting carcasses, excreta including their own, garbage, and other pigs. INFLUENZA (flu) is one of the MOST famous illnesses which pigs share with humans. This illness is harboured in the LUNGS of pigs during the summer months and tends to affect pigs and human in the cooler months.

 

Sausage contains bits of pigs’ lungs, so those who EAT pork sausage tend to SUFFER MORE during EPIDEMICS of INFLUENZA. Pig meat contains EXCESSIVE quantities of HISTAMINE and IMIDAZOLE compounds, which can lead to ITCHING and INFLAMMATION; GROWTH HORMONE which PROMOTES INFLAMMATION and growth; sulphur containing mesenchymal mucus which leads to SWELLING and deposits of MUCUS in tendons and cartilage, resulting in ATHRITIS, RHEUMATISM, etc.
Sulphur helps cause FIRM human tendons and ligaments to be replaced by the pig’s soft mesenchymal tissues, and degeneration of human cartilage.

 

Eating pork can also lead to GALLSTONES and OBESITY, probably due to its HIGH CHOLESTEROL and SATURATED FAT content. The pig is the MAIN CARRIER of the TAENIE SOLIUM WORM, which is found in its flesh. These tapeworms are found in human intestines with greater frequency in nations where pigs are eaten… This type of tapeworm can pass through the intestines and affect many other organs, and is incurable once it reaches beyond a certain stage. One in six people in the US and Canada has RICHINOSIS from eating trichina worms, which are found in pork.

 

Many people have NO SYMPTOMS to warm them of this, and when they do, they resemble symptoms of many other illnesses. These worms are NOT noticed during meat inspections.

 
 

SHAMPOO!!!!!!

Cancer-causing substance in shampoos. Go home and check your shampoo. Change before it’s too late… Check the ingredients listed on your shampoo bottle, and see they have a substance by the name of Sodium Laureth Sulfate, or simply SLS.. This substance is found in most shampoos; manufacturers use it because it produces a lot of foam and it is cheap. BUT the fact is, SLS is used to scrub garage floors, and it is very strong!!! It is also proven that it can cause cancer in the long run, and this is no joke. Shampoos that contains SLS:

 
 

 

   the new Hemp Shampoo from Body Shop etc. contain this substance.
 

The first ingredient listed (which means it is the single most prevalent ingredient) in Clairol’s Herbal Essences is Sodium Laureth Sulfate. Therefore, I called one company, and I told them their product contains a substance that will cause people to have cancer.. They said, Yeah we knew about it but there is nothing we can do about it because we need that substance to produce foam. By the way Colgate toothpaste also contains the same substance to produce the “bubbles”. They said they are going to send me some information.

 

Research has shown that in the 1980s, the chance of getting cancer is 1 out of 8000 and now, in the 1990s, the chances of getting cancer is 1 out of 3, which is very serious. Therefore, I hope that you will take this seriously and pass this on to all the people you know, and hopefully, we can stop “giving” ourselves cancer-causing agents.

 

Notice

 

Reduce the amount of tea you consume
 
 
Do not eat bread which has only JUST been toasted
 
 
Keep your distance from hand phone chargers
 
 
Drink more water in the morning, less at night
 
 
Do not drink coffee twice a day
 
 
Reduce the amount of oily food you consume
 
 
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning
 
 
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm
 
 
Do not take alcohol more than one glass/cup/serving a day
 
 
Do not take pills with cool water
 
 
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping
 
 
Getting less than 8 hours of sleep affects your health
 
 
People used to napping will not get old easily
 
 
If you can’t get do early morning runs, 5pm-8pm in the afternoon is a great time for jogging
 
 
When battery is down to the last grid/bar, do not answer the phoneThe radiation is 1000 times
 
 
Answer the phone by left ear. It’ll spoil your brain directly by using right ear
 
 
Do not use headphones/earphone for extended periods of time. Rest your ear awhile after 1 hour
 
 
Forward this to friends whom you care about.
 

 

 

Forwarded by: Joy

Harvard Universtiy Test

        1.     This is this cat
        2.     This is is cat
        3.     This is how cat
        4.     This is to cat
        5.     This is keep cat
        6.     This is a cat
        7.     This is fool cat
        8.     This is busy cat
        9.     This is for cat
        10.   This is forty cat
        11.   This is seconds cat

 

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down, and I bet you can’t resist passing it on. 

 

 

Note: Makes me wonder if this is actually done in Harvard

Forwarded by: Joy

Bananas

Bananas
A professor at CCNY for a physiological psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression ‘going bananas’ is from the effects of bananas on the brain. Read on……….

Never, put your banana in the refrigerator! !!

This is interesting.

After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.


Depression:
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana.  This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure.  So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.


Brain Power:
200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey.  The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin.  Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.


Overweight and at work?
Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps.  Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs.  The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorde rs because of its soft texture and smoothness.  It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases.  It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers.  In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking.  The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress:
Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance.  When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels.  These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

According to research in The New En gland Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out.  Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!


PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!  I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes??  Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe…polish with dry cloth.  Amazing fruit !!

 

 

Forwarded by: Jacob (Tup-vians yahoogroups)