GOLDEN RULES FOR F***ing

1. F***ing once a week is good for health, but is harmful if done
everyday.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation to mind & body.

3. F***ing refreshes you

4. After F***ing, don’t take heavy food. opt for liquids

5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.

6. F***ing reduces weight for sure……
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so “FASTing” is good for health;

Hmmmmmmmm..
But I like the way your mind works though!

***

Forwarded by: Terry T.

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Clues from fruits and vegetable shapes

A friend sent this to me. It’s been said that God first separated the salt water from the fresh, made dry land, planted a garden, made animals and fish… all before making a human. He made and provided what we’d need before we were born. These are best and more powerful when eaten raw. We’re such slow learners…

God left us great clues as to what foods help what part of our body!
God’s Pharmacy! Amazing!

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye… and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All o f the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.
Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don’t have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoeslook like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body’s cells. Today’s research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

 

***

(Images are part of the original email)

Forwarded by: Noel S.

BREATHING THERAPY for HEADACHE and TIREDNESS

Our noses have left and right nostrils. Are these nostrils having the same function for inhaling / “breathe- in” and exhaling / “breathe- out”?.

Actually it’s not the same and we can feel the difference. Accordingly, the right side represents the sun / “heat” and the left side represents the moon / “cold”.

When having headache, try to close your right nostril and use your left nostril to do breathing for about 5 min. The headache will be gone.

If you feel too tired, do it the opposite way. Close your left nostril and breathe through your right nostril. After a while, you will feel refresh again. Because the right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily. The left side gets cold easily.

Women breathe mainly with their left nostril, so they get calm down easily. Men breathe mostly with their right nostril, so they get angry easily.

When we wake up, do we notice which nostril breathes faster? Is it the left side or the right side ? If the left nostril breathes faster, you will feel very tired. Close your left nostril and use your right nostril for breathing and you will get refresh quickly

You can teach your kids about it. The effect of breathing therapy is much better for adults.

I used to have painful headache. While consulting a doctor, he told me jokingly,” You will be all right if you get married!” The doctor did not bullshit me as he had his theory and supported with testimony. During that time, I used to have headache every night and I was not able to study. I took medicine but I was not cured.

One night as I sat down to meditate, I closed my right nostril and breathed with my left nostril. In less than a week, it seemed that my headache problem had left me! I continued doing it for about a month and since then there was no recurrence of headache in me.

This is my own experience. I used to tell others who also suffer headache to try this method as it was effective for me. It also works for those who have tried as well. This is a natural therapy, unlike taking medicines for a long time may have side effect. So, why don’t you try it out?.

Practice the correct ways of breathing / “breathe in and breathe out” and your body will be relaxed.

Forwarded by: Joylyn

George Carlin’s Views on Aging




Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like
to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than
10 years old, you’re so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.


‘How old are you?’ I’m four and a half!’

You’re never thirty-six and a half.
You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key


You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.


‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13,
but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .
you become 21. Even the words sound

like a ceremony .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!


But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to
throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re
Just a sour-dumpling.

What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH
50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE itto 60.
You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21,
TURN
30,
PUSH
40,
REACH
50
and

MAKE it
to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle;

you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over
100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy
100 and a half!!


HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.
Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height. Let the
doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’


2.
Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.


3.
Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind
is the devil’s workshop.’

And the devil’s name is
Alzheimer’s.


4.
Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh
often, long and loud. Laugh
until you gasp for breath.


6.
The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person, who is with
us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be
ALIVE while you are alive.

7.
Surround yourself with what you love ,
whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes,
music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

Your home is your refuge .


8.
Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can

improve, get help.


9.
Don’t take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall,

even to the next county;
to a foreign country but

NOT to where the guilt is.


10.
Tell the people you
love that you love them
,

at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
:
Life is not measured by the
number of breaths we take,

but
by the moments that
take our breath away.

And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people
who cares?
But do share this with someone.
We all need to live life to
its fullest each day!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forwarded by: Mctin2 (thru tupvians yahoogroups)

YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT

Don’t tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH 

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read .

Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!

This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758…

If you haven’t, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times
you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE ! —— (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Forwarded by: Terry

Health – Important Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear.

Do not drink coffee
TWICE a day.
Do not take pills with COOL water.
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume  
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times (that’s why the phone gets very hot when the battery is very low)

Forwarded by: Joy

7 Don’t After a Meal

*    Don’t smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of   cancer is higher).                                             
                                                             
                     
*    Don’t eat fruits immediately – Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before
meal.                                                                                              
     
*  
Don’t drink tea – Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest..          

*    Don’t loosen your belt – Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.  
 
                 

            
*    Don’t bathe – Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease.  This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.              
 

                                                                                                                           
*    Don’t walk about – People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.                              
 

                                                                                         
*    Don’t sleep immediately – The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.  

Forwarded by: Dony (thru tupvians yahoogroup)

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