WE’RE NOT CRAZY, WE’RE JUST CATHOLIC!

——–Reasons why people think we’re “crazy”———

– We like to keep Mass interesting. We sit, stand and kneel, in no particular order. Probably just to keep the blood flowing.

– Forget a big meal afterwards, just pick up some of the breakfast buns they’re always selling after Mass

Purgatory.

– Infant Baptism isn’t dumb; it’s after-life insurance.

– A 5.00 note in the collection basket is the epitome of generosity. Anything more than that, someone has hit the lottery.

– A missal is a book, not a weapon. However, it has been known to pull double duty.

– Every Catholic Guy tries to sit next the really hot girl they like at Mass. This is because they really want to hug during “Peace Be With You” and hold hands for the “Our Father”

– We really like statues. A lot.

– After every confession, everyone hits themselves on the head. This is because they have realized that they forgot that really big sin, and they know that it’ll hang over their head til the next time.

– Contraceptives? Why?

– Altar boys continue well into their twenties.

– The 14 Stations has nothing to do with TV.

– “Peace Be With You” is just a way to meet pretty girls.

– We’ve always been taught that celibacy till marriage is the only way to go, forever and ever, amen. That being said…

– “Sin on Saturday. Pray on Sunday. Confess on Monday“.

– The Mass doesn’t start for a few minutes not because of tardy parishioners. It’s because the priest is running late.

– We actually get all the jokes in Dogma.

– There are two very different, irreconcilable factions in every single church in the world. They are known as the Saturday or Sunday Mass bunch.

– Bazaars are a way of life.

– Your knees are more calloused than your feet.

– Priests have been giving us alcohol since we were little kids. No wonder any one of us can drink Protestants under the table.

– The Catholic way of dealing with a mid-life crisis is having another kid.

– Mass is nearly unchanged after almost 2000 years. We’re a little stubborn.

– Catholic School Girls.

– Whatever you gave up for Lent, you have it in your hands at 11:59 p.m. Saturday night, counting the seconds til midnight.

– Episcopalians are referred to as “Diet Catholics”

– You either love or hate the Stations of the Cross. There is no middle ground.

– We all know Da Vinci code is bogus and inaccurate. Yet we’ll still read it if nothing else is goin on.

– We have Midnight Mass so there are no interruptions on Christmas morning

– Holy Water can kill just about anything. So Protestants are pretty much screwed if a vampire comes calling.

– There’s no need for impromptu prayer; you can always fall back on the Rosary.

– It’s not uncommon for just one family to take up an entire pew or two.

– Confession. Enough said.

– Who created Family Guy? Oh yeah, a Catholic!

– Whenever anyone in Star Wars saga says “May the Force Be With You”, we get the urge to say “And Also With You”

– The Pope does indeed wear a funny hat. But it’s way more interesting than Joel Osteen’s suit and tie.

– If you see a guy leaning forward, looking half-dead with his head on the pew in front of him… he’s not praying. He’s hungover and was guilted into coming to Mass anyway.

– Even though you never met her or been to a country she’s been in, you’re still willing to have “seen” a miracle by Mother Teresa.

– We’re the oldest Christian religion. Period.

Forwarded by: Wifey

(by the way, I’m a Catholic)

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A Korean and the Philippines

As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently
studying in the Philippines to take advantage of
our cheaper tuition fees and learn English at the
same time.This is an essay written by a Korean student i
want to share with you. (Never mind the grammar;
it’s the CONTENT that counts) Maybe it is timely to
think about this in the midst of all the confusion
at present.

MY SHORT ESSAY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
Jaeyoun Kim

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in
the Philippines . Do you really think the corruption
is the problem of the Philippines ? I do not
think so. I strongly believe that the problem is
the lack of love for the Philippines .

Let me first talk about my country, Korea .
It might help you understand my point.
After the Korean War, South Korea was one
of the poorest countries in the world. Koreans
had to start from scratch because entire country was
destroyed after the Korean War, and we had no
natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines , for
Filipinos were very rich in Asia . We envy Filipinos.
Koreans really wanted to be well off like
Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine.
My father & brother also died because of famine.
Korean government was very corrupt and is still very
corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was
able to develop dramatically because Koreans really
did their best for the common good with their heart
burning with patriotism.

Koreans did not work just for themselves but also
for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired
young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the
government to reform Korea . He tried to borrow money
from other countries, but it was not possible to get a
loan and attract a foreign investment because the
economic situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had
only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine
workers and nurses to Germany so that
they could send money to Korea to build a factory.
They had to go through horrible experience.

In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow
money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the
airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw
the President Park . They asked to him, “President,
when can we be well off?” That was the only question
everyone asked to him. President Park cried with
them and promised them that Korea would be well
off if everyone works hard for Korea , and the President
of Germany got the strong impression on them
and lent money to Korea . So, President Park was
able to build many factories in Korea . He always
asked Koreans to love their country from their heart.

Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA
came back to Korea to help developing country
because they wanted their country to be well off.
Though they received very small salary, they did their
best for Korea . They always hoped that their children
would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where
poor and physically handicapped people live. They
wanted me to understand their life and help them..
I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army..
The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we
have to love our neighborhood. And, I have loved my
neighborhood. Have you cried for the
Philippines ? I have cried for my country several
times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many
poor people. I have been to the New Bilibid
prison. What made me sad in the prison were the
prisoners who do not have any love for their country.
They go to mass and work for Church. They pray
everyday.

However, they do not love the Philippines . I
talked to two prisoners at the maximum-security compound,
and both of them said that they would leave the
Philippines right after they are released from the
prison. They said that they would start a new life in other
countries and never come back to the Philippines .

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that
we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood.
The owners of factory and company were distributed their
profit to their employees fairly so that employees could
buy what they needed and saved money for the
future and their children.

When I was in Korea , I had a very strong faith and
wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines ,
I completely lost my faith.
I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable
situations in the Philippines . Street kids always make me sad,
and I see them everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic
country in Asia , but there are too many poor people here.
People go to church every Sunday to pray, but nothing has
been changed.

My parents came to the Philippines last week and
saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much poorer
than the present Philippines when they
were young. They are so sorry that there are so
many beggars and street kids. When we went to Pasangjan,
I forced my parents to take a boat because
it would fun. However, they were not happy after
taking a boat. They said that they would not take the boat
again because they were sympathized the
boatmen, for the boatmen were very poor and had a
small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it.
But, my parents did not enjoy it because of love
for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church
since I was very young told me that if we just go to
mass without changing ourselves, we are not
Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action.
She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things
for them because all of us are same and have received a great
love from God. I want Filipinos to love their
neighborhood and country as much as they love God
so that the Philippines will be well off.

I am sure that love is the keyword, which Filipinos
should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once.
It should start from person. Love must start in everybody,
in a s mall scale and have to grow. A lot of
things happen if we open up to love. Let’s put away
our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes.

I discover that every person is worthy to be
loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible.
Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and
relationships. It changes the world. Please love your
neighborhood and country.

Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we
do to Him. In the Philippines , there is God for people who
are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love.
If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines .
Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.
You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others.

That’s all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

(FOR THE LOVE OF OUR COUNTRY PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE)

 

 

Forwarded by: Noel S.

Source: Unknown (Most likely Korean : )  )

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