Try this… Chinese eye test—-ang galing

Too FUNNY not to pass on! Chinese eye test
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

 

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese (kunyari “singkit” ka…) It works

image0011

 

 

 

Forwarded by: Joylyn

Chinese Detective

A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective… The cheapest one he could find.
 
This is his report:
 
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.

No fee,
Cheng Lee 

 

 

Forwarded by: Joylyn

Engrish Ulit

 

Duh ?!!

NAKU WAG KANG PAPANAKAW!!!…

LUPIT NITO NYAY!!!!…

NAKU DELIKADO TO….. BKA MAGALIT..!!!!
 
 

 

 

NAKU PO KAKALUNGKOT NAMAN… T_T

HAAY UU NGA NAMAN.. LIBRE NA NGA EH.. DPAT LANG..
 
 
 

 

NAKU KAW NAMAN KASI EH… PAG MAGPAPADULAS KA INGAT INGAT LANG..

HALA NAKU LOLA LOLA BUNTIS KA BA???

 
 

 

HALA .. HORNY KA BA DYAN .. E2 GAMOT SAU…

NAUNTOG NA NGA ATA EH…
 
 


Forwarded by: Rix
Photos credit: unknown (or http://www.engrish.com)

 

 

Chinese Proverbs

Virginity  like bubble, one prick, all gone.

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Man who  run in front of car get tired.

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Man who  run behind car get exhausted.

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Man with  hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

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Foolish  man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright  organ.

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Man who  walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok  .

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Man with  one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who  scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

*  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who  eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball  is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

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Panties  not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.  

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War does  not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

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Wife who  put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

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Man who  fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take  many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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Man who  drive like hell, bound to get there.

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Man who  stand on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who  live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Man who  fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

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Man who  fart in church sit in own pew.

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Crowded  elevator smell different to midget.

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Now  send it to 10 or more people.

Nothing  will happen but 10 people will be laughing

Forwarded by: Wifey

POTS

An elderly Chinese woman had  two large pots,
each hung on the ends of a pole  
which she carried across her  neck.

 

One of the pots had a  crack in it while the other pot
was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the  long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

 

For a full two years this went on daily,
with the woman bringing home only one
and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do
half of what it had been made to do.

 

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure,
it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

 

“I am ashamed of  myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

 

The old woman smiled,  “Did you notice that
there are flowers on your side of the path,
but not on the other pot’s  side?”

 

“That’s because I have always known about your flaw,
so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path,
and every day while we walk back, you  water them.”

 

“For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.  Without you  being
just the way you are, there would not be
this beauty to grace the house.”

 

Each of us has our own unique flaw.  
But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make
our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

 

You’ve just got to take each person for what they are
and look for the good in them.

 

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day
and remember to smell the flowers
on your side of  the path

 

 

Forwarded by: Terry