On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing
out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be
fined $60.  Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of  $180.
Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “How much for a season

Grandmas birth control pills!

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her
life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to
bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he
realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.

“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that
could possibly help you sleep!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee.  “Yes, dear, I know
that.  But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass
of orange juice that my 16-year-old-granddaughter drinks.  And,
believe me, it helps me sleep at night.”


Dining with Dahmer

Jeffery Dahmer invites his mother over for dinner.

She says, “Jeffery I don’t like your friends.”

He says, “Then just eat your vegetables.”



Forwarded by: Joy

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