Kids are quick

TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:        
Here it is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS:         Maria.

____________________________________
 

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’

TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong

GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________

TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:   What are you talking  about?

DONALD:     Yesterday you said it’s H to O.  
__________________________________

TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years  ago.
WINNIE:       Me!

__________________________________________  


TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:  
       Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you  are.  
_______________________________________

TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:         I  is..

TEACHER:         No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I  am.’

MILLIE:          All right…  ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
     
________________________________

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  
                     Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his  hand.
   
______________________________________  


TEACHER:    Now,  Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:         No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
______________________________


TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s… Did you copy his?

CLYDE :         No, sir. It’s the same dog.  
___________________________________

TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher

 

 

Forwarded by: wifey

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

 

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,


grandchildren,

nieces,

nephews,

or students…

here is something to make you chuckle.

 

 

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God’s omnipotence did not extend

to His own children.

 

 

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

 

And the first thing he said was
‘ DON’T !


‘Don ‘t what
?
Adam replied.

 

‘Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.’
God said.

 

 

 

‘Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit
?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit
!

 

 

 

‘ No Way !
‘Yes way !

 

 

 

‘Do NOT eat the fruit !
said God.


 

 


‘Why ?

 

 

 

‘Because I am your Father and I said so !

 


God replied,
wondering why He hadn’t stopped
creation after making the elephants

 

 

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

‘Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit
?
God asked.

 

 

 

 

‘Uh huh,’
Adam replied.

 

 

 

‘Then why did you ?
said the Father.

 

 

‘I don’t know,’
said Eve.
‘She started it !
Adam said.

 

 

 

‘Did not !
‘Did too
!
‘DID NOT !

 

 

 

Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

 

 

 

 

  

 

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

 

 

 

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

 

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day

 

 

 

AND FINALLY:

 

 

 

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:


 

 

‘TAKE TWO ASPIRIN’
AND ‘KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN’!!! !!

 

 

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

 

!

 

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

 

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward
for not killing your own children.

 

 

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

 

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn’t have sa id

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forwarded by: Ronnie (thru batch90sjhs yahoogroups)

Photo credits: unknown

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE…

 


…1950’s, 60’s and 70’s !!

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.. ( sioktong ang inumin)
 
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
fish from a can ( brand : ligo ) , and didn’t get tested for diabetes.
 
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints , pati na yung laruang kabayu-kabayuhan.

 
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no
kneepads , sometimes wala ngang preno yung bisikleta.
 
As children, we would ride in car with no seat belts or air bags
– hanggang ngayon naman, di ba ? ( jeep )
 
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
( maykaya kayo pare ! )
 
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle
( minsan straight from the faucet)
 
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
Or contacted hepatitis.
 
We ate
rice with tinunaw na purico ( dahil ubos na ang star margarine) , nutribuns na galing kay macoy and drank sopdrinks with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight kasi nga ….. .
 
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

 
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan taguan….
 
No one was able to reach us all day ( di uso ang celfon , walang beepers ). And we were O.K.

 
We would spend hours building our
trolleys or slides out of scraps and then ride down the street, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem .
 
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound,
no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms……. ….WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no

lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words…..masakit ba ? pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo…..beh buti nga !

We play in the dirt , wash our hands a little and ate with our barehands…we were not afraid of getting worms in our stomachs.

We have to live with homemade guns – gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakit…..pero walang nagrereklamo.

made up games with sticks ( syatong )and cans ( tumbang preso )and although we were told it would happen, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay….paminsan minsan may nabubukulan.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Walang sumasama ang loob.

Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tignan kung ayos lang ang bata….hindi para makialam.

This generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and managers ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good.

and while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

PS – The big type is because your eyes may not be able to read this…. at your age

ok lang ba?
pakipasa nga ito sa mga tunay mo na kaibigan para makaalaala pa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forwarded by: Noel S.