What women want

Lesson to be remembered!!

This is quite interesting. ….
(To women) Please take time to ponder…..
(To men) Just enjoy the story……

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom..
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man. And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but first he would have to agree to her price.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden.

But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus: ‘What a woman really wants?’
She said, ‘A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.’

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, and be the beautiful maiden the other half.

‘Which would you prefer?’ She asked him. ‘Beautiful during the day …. or at night?’
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous moments with?

(If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this…) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?
And Lancelot’s choice is given below…
BUT… please make YOUR choice first before you scroll down below… OKAY?

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
H
H
H
H
H
H

M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M
M

Knowing the answer the witch gave to Arthur for his question,
Sir Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time..
Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now… what is the moral to this story?

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The moral is…
1) There is ‘witch’ in every woman, no matter how beautiful she is !
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly !

So, be careful how you treat a woman and always remember:
IT IS EITHER ‘ HER WAY ‘ OR IT IS ‘ NO WAY ‘ !!

 

 

Forwarded by: Noel S.

Ladies Room

CREATED BY A WOMAN

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied.A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said ‘ You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the
buttons on the wall.’

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn’t resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men’s restrooms don’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff
completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

‘What happened?’ he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

‘The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.’

MEN NEVER LISTEN

 

 

Forwarded by: Ryan Val

 

This is Pretty Interesting

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the
rule of thumb”
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
“Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
—————————————————————————————–

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2,
but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested?
A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until
you would find the letter “A”?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the
year?
A. Father’s Day
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In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law
with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which
we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old
England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
“Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.”
It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into
the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the
phrase inspired by this practice.
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~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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Don’t delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you
can read it.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde

Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when…
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on
this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

Forwarded by: Bob